woooooaaaah!

It's time to admit that this whole having a baby is stressing me out. I notice that my usual filters are breaking down. Especially in regards to eating. Brownies in the kitchen here at work? Have one! Have two! Maybe some M&Ms for an after lunch snack, etc. I've obviously gained quite a bit of weight in the past couple of months (I'm afraid to weigh myself at the gym, but I'm going to have to if I want to get any of this weight off. Of course, I'll have to get to the gym to do that...) and that's not all. I just feel a little... constantly on edge these days. Not hysterical, but just not as in control of the old emotions as I usually am. This is not altogether bad, and is understandable, but I've got to gain a little of the tiny bit of composure I used to have back. I don't want to be hugely fat. I want to be able to handle any crises that come up.

I knew that this would happen, really. I expected that, with a new life coming that I will be responsible for, I'd freak out a little. And, entering the third trimester, it's coming into bloom. I've just got to gain a measure of control back. The food thing will be the easiest to measure as far as success or failure goes, I think. And it'll make me feel better if I can stop eating so much crap.

No poker again this week — trying to get the baby's bedroom painted before Amy's folks get here this weekend and we do some furniture shopping (Ikea, here we come!) A taste of things to come: baby first, poker second. Damnit. (I kid.)