LAST DAY! LAST DAY!
Yeah, so here I am sitting at my desk. Have the few photos and knicknacks I'd accumulated over my 13 months in a pile, along with copies of the books I worked on while I'm here. It's not much to look at.
There's not much for me to do today. I've already written out everything I need to pass on to my boss. I've organized my computer so at the end of the day I can delete all my emails, chat logs, and the few "non-official" programs I installed while I was here. My iTunes folder is already emptied.
What I do need to do is find the files for the books I helped design and make hi-res files of a few spreads for my book. Who knows when or if I'll need them. I hope that the New Gig turns out to be long long term. But who's to say? I do still plan to write, and maybe that'll happen for me. Maybe we'll move to L.A. Maybe I'll find something else I'd like to do better. Maybe I'm not management material. Who the hell knows. I would have never predicted when I left Avalon in November of 2005 that in 18 months I'd be starting a Art Director gig at a major publisher -- in New Jersey -- and that our first daughter would be kicking and preparing to come out and turn our lives upside down.
They're throwing me a "pizza party" as a goodbye which is ... really nice. It's not an exaggeration to say that this is the first place I've ever felt I left on good terms. So, I'm hoping that this job, much like the relationship I had before getting back together with Amy has been a good learning experience and one that heralds a kind of emergence of a slightly more mature and reasonable me.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm still a pain in the ass to live with and have my moments, that's for damned sure -- but something good happened to me when that relationship ended. I came to a realization that endings didn't have to be ugly and that if you can come out the other side without lighting yourself or the other person on fire and running away screaming... it's much nicer. Rachel and I parted as adults, and it opened my eyes to how poorly I'd treated Amy at the end. And that was part of the beginning of us getting back together.
Anyway, blah blah blah... me me me... it's an ending day, and a new beginning day. The pizza party makes me nervous, being the center of attention. I'll feel pressure to be witty and charming and funny. Maybe I'll pull it off. Seriously? I hope I don't tear up. I'm unaccustomed to groups being nice to me. I can handle it one-on-one with Amy, and with people I am close to, but casual friendships that are temporarily heightened make me nervous. I don't have programming to handle it. And yet, I really appreciate the hell out of it.
Okay. Off to do a little more work.
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