tuesday

It's cooler here, now. Left the air conditioner's fan on here in the office these past couple of days, mainly because the knob fell off, but today it actually felt cold and I had to search for the knob to stop the air blowing on me as I sat at the computer.
Nothing I intended to write about here today, other than the weather. I much prefer any cold to the heat of summer. I feel much more comfortable and less stressed.
Tired this morning. Not one of Ella's best sleeping efforts last night. She got her latest round of shots yesterday, which probably has something to do with that.
This room is full of clutter. I wish I could throw everything out and start over. I could. I can, at least, with my own messes. The real problem is that it's not just mine any more. Amy's things are in here too and I'm not good with the subtle negotiations of property. I'd just as soon as trash everything as find a new place for it. Simple. Clean.
That is the one thing that was good about the separation and divorce — I got rid of everything and started over fresh. How to capture some of that feeling while being in a permanent relationship is a good question: how do you continue to change and redefine yourself to yourself when there's someone around who knows you so well? Hard to jettison that piece of you that you no longer want and say "I am no longer that. I am now this." when there's someone to remind you that you never remember to use the recycling garbage for paper and plastic items and who hears your farts at night.
I want to draw an imaginary line and say "Okay, from here on I will be different. I will think less and do more."
Done.
Now what?